


Sasuke "Shameless" Uchiha

by SapphireLotus11



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anti canon ships, Character Bashing, F/M, Moments of smut, Swearing, shenanigans galore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22263013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireLotus11/pseuds/SapphireLotus11
Summary: "HOW CAN SASUKE BE SO HEARTLESS?!" Sakura wailed. Naruto sighed "He's Sasuke. Being shameless is what he is all about."
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Neji/Yamanaka Ino, Karin/Temari (Naruto), Tenten/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 1
Kudos: 86





	1. Warnings

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be a silly adult humorous story about what should have happened instead of what canon gave us. If this is a problem for you, go somewhere else.

_So before you read this, just so you know this story will have the following:_

  * _Swearing_
  * _Sex scenes between characters_
  * _Anti Sakura_
  * _Anti Naruto ending_
  * _Anti SasuSaku_
  * _Anti NaruHina_



_Again, this is gonna make fun of cannon... **A LOT**. _

_If you are sensitive about that, go else where._

_If not, I hope you like what I've written!_

_Happy Reading!_


	2. Bye-Bye Angsty Birdie

_It was finally over_ : 

Madara was dead. Orochimaru was gone. The war had been won, and to the victor go the spoilers-... Or at least that's how it _normally_ goes.

However, in this case things were far from normal. 

_Extremely_ far from normal...

 _Miles and miles_ from normal...

Although the great and powerful duo of Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke had their cake, only Naruto was able to eat it. In fact, if there was such a cake, he would have eaten it all and _then_ ask Sasuke if he wanted any!

_What a dick!_

So now it means that there's still the matter of what to do with such a renegade shinobi. He knows he was guilty of a few things that- _were less than nice_ :

_Attempting to kill Sakura, that one dude he killed, killing his older brother..._

_A lot of violence in his teen years as one could tell._

Still, some form of judgment had to be given to him. Since he wasn't like his sanin _"teacher"_ who was a walking get of jail free card, there were those who wanted to kill him. In that light, Sasuke's life was already fucked up given what's happened. To him, death would be a good thing. Unfortunately, Kami up there still had some plans for the last remaining Uchiha. Both Naruto and Sakura wanted him to stay in Konoha, because that's what they've spent all those years trying to do! _When they could have invested that time elsewhere on better things but_... 

_They are such good friends right?_

So now he stood there at the gates of the village with Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto going over his verdict. He was not the religious type, but he was silently saying a prayer. He was hoping that if not death, he can be exiled so at least he won't be bothered with Konoha ever again...

Maybe he could be a hermit in the mountains: _Just the lone Uchiha in the wilderness with no one screaming his his name. Maybe even_ _have a few pet animals too..._

Kakashi sighed while rubbing his already sore neck. "I never thought I would be put into such a situation like this, but I suppose there's a first time for everything. Now, I bet you're just itching to know what's going to happen to you Sasuke." The sarcasm in his voice was a big indication that he was ticked off.

" _It's killing me softly sensei..."_ The Uchiha retorted.

"Well, this wasn't my initial idea. I personally either wanted you dead or locked away for the rest of your life." Kakashi explained.

 _"I'm so touched..."_ Sasuke thought to himself.

"But, because your fellow teammates are your _only_ friends that risked their lives for your sorry ass-.... We came to an arrangement that will allow you to stay here. _F_ _or good_." The sixth hokage gave the side eye to his students as he told Sasuke this.

Sasuke was almost interested. "And what exactly is this _arrangement_?"

"You'll be allowed to stay here but first you have to settle down." Kakashi explained.

"I'm not a child Kakashi."

The older shinobi rolled his eyes. "I mean you have to find a wife."

_"Where?"_

Kakashi face palmed, he know Sasuke was doing this on purpose. He's getting too old for this. 

Naruto crossed his arms. "Unless you marry Sakura-chan, you can't stay. That's the agreement teme."

Sasuke had a look that suggested he'd truly seen something horrible. " _What?_ "

Kakashi shrugged. "That's the arrangement kiddo." He was still in favor of the more _simpler_ solutions personally.

Sasuke blinked a few times before speaking again. "The " _arrangement_ " you all came up with, about _my future-_ was for _me_ to marry Sakura?" He made sure to put emphasis about himself.

Naruto nodded.

"The same Sakura I tried to kill, **numerous times**."

Kakashi nodded as well.

"You want me to spend the rest of my life, and potentially make children with _that_ woman? Just so you can have me back in the village? Even though I would _never_ be happy **ever again**?"

"Well, you would also be allowed to go hunt for that goddess we dealt with a few weeks back." Naruto added.

Sasuke's rage was steadily rising to the point of reawakening Susanoo. And yet? He simply closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked to the blushing Sakura, then to his idiotic so called " _best friend"_ and then to his former teacher.

"Well Sasuke-kun?" She asked.

"Well what?"

"Well what will you do?"

He scoffed. "The obvious of course..."

Sakura wanted to assume that his answer was going bring her the nothing but romance and pure happiness. Unfortunately for her, that assumption died a horrible death at the crushing reality, that Sasuke simply turned around and started walking away. Kakashi actually started chuckling a bit, despite his best efforts not to while Sakura was there. Naruto and Sakura just stood there bewildered.

"Hey wait a damn minute Sasuke!!! What are you doing?!" Naruto yelled.

"I specifically said I was going to do the obvious didn't I?" He answered nonchalantly.

Sakura was already streaming tears. "Y-You're just g-g-going to leave?! L-Like THAT?!"

The rogue Uchiha frowned, ruthless he may be he was not without a heart. "No not like that. How could I forget..."

They all looked surprised as Sasuke walked over to his team. None of them were honestly expecting him to actually change his mind. Instead, he shook Kakashi's hand, gave Naruto a hug, and _then_ proceeded to walk away. Kakashi shook his head while Naruto looked more confused than concerned. Both completely forgetting about the sobbing mess that was now Sakura.

It felt good. A _mazing_ actually! Sasuke felt as though a colossal weight was lifted off of his chest after doing that. " _Why the hell didn't I think of this sooner?!"_ He thought.

Watching their teammate and so called _friend_ leave for the second time made Naruto facepalm. " _I don't fucking believe it._ "

"Well, at least he was honest." Kakashi added. "Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be in the tower." He said before he teleported.

"Naruto what should we do?!" Sakura panicked.

"Um, we can go get lunch. Kinda hungry honestly." He answered calmly.

"HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU THINK ABOUT FOOD?! SASUKE'S GONE!"

"I know, but I'm not going after him again if that's what you're suggesting."

"Wha-?! But-! W-Why not?!"

"Sasuke's an adult! And in case you hadn't noticed Sakura, we **just** had a major _war_! You know, the one where we all could have _died_?! The last thing I want to do, is spend my free time looking for him again!" He explained " _You_ can go find him if you really want to, I won't stop you. But my Sasuke hunting days are done."

Such a response from Naruto made Sakura go pale in the face as she fainted. He caught her of course, but not without letting out a heavy sigh.

_Time-skip_ _2 years later_

A lot has happened to Konoha in two years:

For one Kakashi is still the hokage, and has done a pretty good job on cleaning up after the war. The village looks good as new, if not a little better thanks to him.

Naruto decided to play the field a bit and dated his "dream girl" Sakura, for about six months. Later on, they ultimately decided part ways after he realized just how- _attached_ she still was about Sasuke. So after that was a bust, he then dated Hinata for another six months. Later on they mutually agreed that the chemistry just wasn't as strong as they originally thought. So now to everyone's surprise, he's dating Tenten! And they have been going great for the past six months of the new year and don't plan on stopping!

Sakura on the other hand, had an existential crises following her and Naruto's breakup. Ino seemed to be the only one around who offered support, but soon turned to wine drinking just to cope with her friend's suffering herself. In the midst of yet _another_ comfort session with Hinata as well, they sat while drinking and listened to Sakura's _many_ sob stories about her oh so _tragic_ love life. They had to have been on story number three until they heard a knock on her door. When Ino checked to see who it could be, there was no one around but a crying little baby in a basket just left there. Ino and Hinata had questions, but Sakura was too preoccupied with the idea of raising said child and named her Salad even though the name tag attached to the handle clearly said _"Sachiko."_


	3. Away with the Snake Sanin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, so to avoid any confusion I thought I might give insight and say this chapter takes place after Sasuke left Konoha and it explains how Sarada (aka Sachiko in this story) found her way on to Sakura's front door.

After years of anguish and migraines, Sasuke was finally a free man walking. No more Akatsuki. No more older brother hunting. No more Kakashi, and especially- NO MORE NARUTO AND SAKURA CONSTANTLY WHINING ABOUT HIM! Words could not describe just how happy he was, to be rid of all those burdens. The members of Taka had to blink twice, because they thought he saw him actually _smile_. It was almost creepy but they went with it. Still, in light of his sweet freedom, he still had one final pain in the ass to deal with: The same sneaky sanin who started it all, Orochimaru.

"So remind me what we're doing here?" Suigetsu asked with a ring finger cleaning out his right ear.

Karin scoffed. "Idiot, we're going to kill Orochimaru." 

"Bah! Why are we still here, if Sasuke took Juugo deal with that psycho?"

Karin rolled her eyes. " You cleared out Otogakure of all the experiments and grunts, yet you still want more?"

"Tch, this from the _banshee_ that got to kill ol' four-eyes..."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Before the red-headed Uzumaki could deliver a devastating kick to his groin, the secret base of the sound sannin is now a burning pile of debris. Sasuke casually walked away from the horrific scene with Juugo following beside him, holding what soon appeared to be a new born baby.

Suigetsu looked on in disbelief. "What the fuck did you do!? Why's Juugo got a baby??" 

Sasuke gave a shrug. "I set the base on fire with Orochimaru still inside." He looked back at the burning hideout, then at Juugo. "Before we did, the madman was experimenting with babies. Apparently Juugo managed to save one of them." He explained.

"Let me have a look..." Karin commented as she gave the baby a look over. "Hm, she's a product of Orochimaru alright, she must be that super secret project he was talking about before..."

Suigetsu raised a brow. " _She_?"

Sasuke was now both curious and annoyed. "What _super secret project_?" 

Karin adjusted her glasses. "Well it was no secret that Orochimaru had a thing for you, really fucking gross if I may say... But he was legit obsessed with getting a hold of your abilities. So my guess is, he wanted to "make" his own little hybrid Uchiha soldiers." She explained. "I guess this was the proto-type test-tube baby."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "So this child is basically a failed attempt at cloning me..."

Karin gave a short nod.

Suigetsu chuckled. "Well, it's a good thing you set the brat on fire then huh chief?"

"Fucking fantastic..." The Uchiha grumbled. "I knew he was crazy- I should have expected this..."

Juugo suddenly spoke up. "Should I-"

"No! No! It's just a baby, we don't kill babies!" He said while taking the infant.

"Well then what are you gonna do with her? Karin's the last person I'd want to be my mo- AHH FUCK!" Suigetsu was quickly cut off, when Karin backhanded him on the back of his head.

"This dumbass has a point, none of us can really take care of a baby. So why not ship her off to your old home?"

"Karin, that's cruel."

The red-head gave a shrug. " _Do you really want to handle a baby while on the road_ _Sasuke_?"

That gave Sasuke a good pause for thought. "I'll be back in a few days. Let's meet in the Land of Waves..."

"Okay, but she'll need a name."

"What about salad?"

Karin glared daggers at Suigetsu and the two started arguing. Meanwhile, Juugo suggest the name " _Sachiko_ " and so Sasuke went with that and wrote a little name tag on the baby's basket.

...

_2 Years Later..._

Admittedly, he was truly dreading the idea of taking this child back to Konohagakure. He wanted to avoid that place with every fiber of his being! Why is it that he finds himself going back there all the damn time?! Even baby Sachiko knew this place was bad, as she wouldn't stop crying the moment he arrived. Sasuke almost felt sorry for them, but he left the baby basket at Sakura's doorstep. _"Better you than me kid..."_


	4. It Takes an Avenger

Fast forwarding even more years down the road, Konoha- _is actually doing pretty well for itself_.

Kakashi is still around as the 6th hokage, and is _not_ turning to alcohol on the job believe it or not. He got rid of the chunin exams and replaced them with the chunin trails. For lack of a better description: It was a series of tests both written and physical, meant to show that a genin is fit to be a chunin. A better alternative to the old ways in his opinions... 

Kakashi also has lets his seven dogs run loose in the hokage tower, and everyone seems to be in better spirits for it.

With the Rookie Nine?

Sasuke was still enjoying his freedom, but Naruto was enjoying the good life as a proper _j_ _ōnin_ now. He and Tenten have been dating for a good two years too. He gets to hang out with his pals after successful missions as well. Life was good for the blonde hero. Tenten felt the same as she was an apprentice under Morino Ibiki to be a Tokubetsu Jōnin. She was a little unsure about the relationship in the beginning, but the blonde was just full of surprises.

Hinata and Ino actually grew close as friends while Ino was dating Neji. They would often chat and have girls night with Tenten and Sakura. Ino actually took her skills more seriously, and become one of the newest members of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation force. Hinata and Neji are actually working together to better their clan. They stopped the branding of the curse seal along the way as well.

All in all, the Jōnin Nine were doing pretty well for themselves!

Ino had a day to herself, as she tended the family flower shop. It was a slow day so she did a bit of tiding up, when she saw a young girl with red glasses wandered into her shop. A frown of concern grew upon the Yamanaka's face. "Hey, you lost sweetie?" She called out.

The little girl no older than seven years old jumped a bit, before looking to the platinum blonde. "No.." She answered.

"Well, what are you doing here by yourself? Where are your parents?"

The girl gave a shrug. "I- dunno? I never met my dad before."

"Okay well where's you m-"

"SARADA!?!?" Came the cries of a certain pinkette.

The young girl winched at the call, and looked to Ino with pleading eyes.

With compassion and sympathy, Ino ushered the young girl behind the register counter so she could hide. In all honesty she couldn't blame the poor thing for wanting to hide from Sakura.

Sakura stormed into the flower shop, looking worried and furious at the same time. "Ino! Have you seen a little girl with glasses come into your store today?! She this tall and I _cannot find her!_ " She exclaimed.

"Ah... N-No Sakura! No I have not seen any kids come in today... If I do, I will bring her to you myself." The platinum blonde assured.

Sakura breathed a brief sigh of relief. "Oh thank you Ino... I gotta find her! SARADAAAA!"

Sarada poked her head out from her hiding spot. "I-Is she gone?" 

Ino gave a sigh of relief. "Yeah for now, but you have to go back home eventually Sarada."

The young girl frowned. "I know I just-... She's scary!"

Ino knows that Sakura's behavior can be- _aggressive_ if rubbed the wrong way. To think that she would be like that towards her _'child'._ "Do you hide from her a lot?"

Sarada nodded.

"Can I ask why?"

"Well, she won't stop talking about this guy named, _Sas-suke_? And whenever I ask about my dad or my mom, she breaks things and yells at me."

Guess Ino won the bet about the baby's origins after all...

She was right in the suspicion that Sasuke dropped her off here, since he technically wasn't allowed to come back. Seeing Sarada for herself, it only pieced together the puzzle. Poor kid. "Listen, this Sasuke guy that Sakura talks about all the time _is_ your dad."

The seven year old perked up. "Really?"

"I believe so. That's why Sakura talks about him a lot. She really really _really_ likes him."

"Then if he's my dad, is she really my mom?"

"Good question honey, I don't really know for sure... But I _do_ know someone who can help."

_Later at Ichiraku's_

"Ha ha! And you should have seen how we tag teamed those rogue nin babe, Lee and I had them on their asses." Naruto chuckled at his finished his pork-cutlet bowl.

Lee chuckled beside the blonde. "It was a glorious showdown of good vs evil!"

Tenten giggled. "I'm sure it was- Oh hey Ino!" She waved as her friend entered with Sarada.

"Woah Ino, what's up? I didn't know you had a kid." Naruto glanced down at the little girl.

" _I_ don't, but I think you'll be interested to know who's the father of Sarada."

"Oh really, who?"

"Sasuke."

Tenten choked on her water, Lee spat out his iced tea and Naruto almost gagged.

"YOU'RE JOKING!"

"THIS IS SASUKE'S DAUGHTER!?"

"THAT TEME HAD SEX BEFORE ME?!?!"

"Naruto language! Yes, this has to be Sasuke's. Remember when Sakura _"found "_ a baby in a basket on her doorstep?"

The Uzumaki cleared his throat and got a good look at Sarada. "I- guess that makes sense, but why are you telling us this? Shouldn't she be with Sakura?"

Ino pinched her temple. " _Sakura_ is why we're here! She's- well you know how she gets about Sasuke..."

A unified hum of concern came from all three of the adults, as they knew of Sakura's behavior. "Alright. In the morning I'll set out one last time, _and I mean one final time for that teme_ and get him to come back for his kid." Naruto answered.

_The next day in The Land of Waves..._

Team Taka was happily enjoying themselves in a tea shop. Karin was shaking her head in disappointment as Suigetsu tried to flirt with the young waitresses. Juugo and Sasuke sat together enjoying some black tea and tri-colored dango. 

"OI! Sasuke-teme!!!"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes, trying to pretend that he did not just hear the blonde Uzumaki yell his name to the entire tea shop.

"Don't act like you don't hear me calling you!" He rushed over to sit with him and Juugo. "You've got a lot of explaining to do! Getting a kid and leaving them in the village, really Sasuke? How could _you_ have sex already!?"

Sasuke put his cup down and sighed. "First of all, I did not sleep with anyone. _Second_ _of all_ it's none of your business who I'm having sex with. _Third of all, I don't have any kids so why the hell are you even here?_ "

Naruto raised a brow. "If you're not sleeping with anyone, then who the heck is Sarada?"

"You tell me! I don't know anyone named Sarada!"

Naruto huffed. "Then how come Ino told me, that you left a baby in a basket on Sakura door step named Sarada?"

There was a pause before Sasuke groaned... He knew this day would come. "Ugh, Naruto... Her name is not _Sarada_... **Sachiko** is one of Orochimaru's projects before he died..."

"What?!"

"He wanted his own Uchiha, so he tried to take some DNA and wound up with a baby. I killed him and left the baby with Sakura."

Naruto shook his head in disappointment. "I know you can be heartless but- _seriously Sasuke_? You know how Sakura is about you."

"I didn't have a lot of other options, but it's not like she's a bad mother. She can play with Sachiko and stuff..."

Naruto passed him a crude look of judgement to the Uchiha.

"Alright alright you actually have a point, but I can't go back to the village remember?"

"Yeah that's true and all, but would you rather just marr-"

"No."

"But you could jus-"

" _No_."

"Sasuke are you being serious!?"

" _I tried to kill her_ Naruto. I **do not** want, I repeat- _**do not want to marry her**._" He stated.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I get it! I get it, but you can't just leave Sachiko fatherless, that's not fair to her. Just visit or something, let her know you're not dead."

"You're really trying to get me to come back _yet again?"_

"Sasuke _listen_ , this was not my idea. I was happy being a jounin, I have Tenten as my girlfriend, and I did not want to do this for my health. Kakashi said you couldn't stay in Konoha, but you can just visit, say hi to your kid, and leave." 

"He has a point." Juugo pointed out.

The fact that Juugo rarely spoke and took Naruto's side, was unfortunately enough to give him a change of heart. "Fine." He groaned.

"Thank you." Naruto nodded. 


	5. Hello Mother!

"You want me to _what?_ " The Uchiha asked this little girl putting emphasis on the what. "Why on earth do you want _me_ to be your father?"

Sachiko shrugged. "Well, you said I've got no _real_ parents and you hate the person who took care me already-... I got no real choices here."

"You don't like being with Sakura?"

" _She broke the house with her bare hands when I asked about where my "dad" was_." She responded with air quotes included.

Sasuke's right eye twitched. "Hn, good point... But I don't think you would like living with me."

"Why?"

"Well for one, I don't live here."

"Why?"

His eye twitched again. "Because I'm not allowed to live-"

He paused for a minute, and thought way back to when Kakashi first made that stupid little arrangement. Soon he had a spark of inspiration! "I'm not allowed to live here, until I have a family." He explained.

Her little eyes perked up. "So are you saying I get to be your daughter?"

He nodded. " Yes, but there's one thing you need to do for me."

"What? What is it?" She asked almost too eagerly.

"Go find a mom."

Her excitement was halted. "Wait, you said I was born a test tube baby..."

"You are a test tube baby, but we can't be a family without a mom."

She scratched her head. "Then, wouldn't it be better for _you_ to find me a mom? Cause isn't that going to be the person you spend time with? Like _forever_?"

Sasuke felt his blood pressure rising the more he talked to this child."Yes, but _I'm_ not supposed to be here. So that's why I'm letting _you_ do it. Plus, you have to spend your life with her too, so it's a win win for both of us either way."

That logic was too confusing for her mind to wrap around, so she just shrugged it off. Not like she had anything better to do anyway. "Okay."

"Good. Just be sure you find someone that isn't loud, or obnoxious, or-"

"Like Ms. Haruno?"

He smiled. "Exactly."

"So when I find a mom, what then?"

"Bring her here and I'll take care of the rest."

She nodded and watched him walk away, while she went on her mother hunt. To think she's been through so much and she's only eight! This should be concerning, but who was she to judge? She scouted around the village looking at potential mothers:

Ms.Yamanaka was a good candidate. She was pretty and nice, but she feared she might remind her newfound father of Ms.Haruno. There was a woman with her brown hair tied into two buns. That would have been a good candidate as well, but she was dating someone she has dubbed "Uncle Naruto". Lastly, there was Ms. Hyuuga. She was extremely nice, very pretty, and best of all; _not seeing anyone!_

_"Ms. Hyuuga it is! But how do I get her to believe me?"_ She thought.

Sachiko looked around trying to find anything to use at her disposal, but the easiest thing to do was to put dirt in her eyes. Acting like the frantic and crying child, she raced over to where Hinata was. The woman was leaving the market and Sachiko, begged for the woman's assistance. Like a moth to a flame it worked. Hinata readily helped Sachiko get the dirt out her eyes and bought her some onigari too. _That was her cue to play the role of the sad and lonely orphan_.

"You're parents left you all alone?" Hinata asked.

Sachiko sniffled and nodded.

Hinata frowned. "Oh you poor dear..." 

" _Wow, she truly is like a mom."_ Sachiko thought "I-I went... Looking for m-my otousan b-but I got lost and couldn't f-find him..." She continued her act.

"Aw Sachiko, I'll help you find your otosan. You remember where you last saw him?"

 _"YES!"_

"He... He was walking- in the park."

Hinata nodded. "Alright, let's go look for him."

Sachiko wanted to grin eagerly, but a small teary smile would have to do for now. They walked to the park together, Sachiko holding Hinata's hand the whole way and she guided her to their destination. When they arrived, all that was there were a few park benches to which Sachiko happily took a seat.

"Sachiko-chan I don't understand-"

"Right there." The eight year old pointed to a spot where she could sit.

Hinata was a little confused by the gesture, but she did so anyway.

"SHE'S HERE!" Sachiko called out.

"Wait wh-"

Hinata was cut off to see Sasuke appear as he casually sat next to her. _"Good job kid..._ " He thought.

"S-Sasuke-kun!? What are you doing here?"

"It's-... A long story, one that I'd be willing to tell you over dinner." He said smoothly.

Hinata started to blush, but she shook her head. "I-I can't! I have to help Sachiko find her father."

"About that..." He began while looking rather dejected. _"I am_ her real father-... Sort of. And _you're_ now her mother." He watched as the speechless Hyuuga heiress faint, and quickly caught her in her arms. " _Well_. _That could have been worse..."_

Sachiko glanced a peak and then looked to Sasuke. "That wasn't supposed to happen wasn't it." 

He sighed. "No. No it wasn't."

...........

Two hours later, Hinata woke up back in her room in the Hyuuga estate. What was thought to be just a mere bad dream, turned out to be a nightmarish reality, when she saw Uchiha Sasuke _once again!_ Only this time, he was at her door waiting for her once she woke up.

She screamed.

"Hello to you too Hinata..." He greeted casually.

"S-Sasuke-! What are you-?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"I brought you here after you fainted."

Her panic spell subsided a bit. "Y-You actually brought me back home?"

"Yes."

"And Sachiko... What happened to her?"

"She's with your sister eating dinner."

"I-I see..." She went and hugged her knees. "So, can you tell me what all that crazy stuff was about?"

"Well, remember how Sachiko brought you to the park earlier?"

She nodded.

"That's because I asked her to pick out a mother. In this case she picked you."

"But I thought Sakura was-"

" _Fuck. **No**_."

"Okay I get that... B-But why _me_?"

" _Why not you_? Obviously you care about children, you're Konoha's sweetheart, you're extremely sexy-"

She looked up at him and blushed "What?!"

"What?"

"What you said!"

Sasuke raised a brow. "About being Konoha's sweetheart?"

"No about me being sexy!"

"Oh. Well it's true." He shrugged.

"You really think- I'm _extremely sexy_?"

" _Half of us thought you were extremely sexy_. Naruto memorized your cup sizes faithfully... Are you still a 34DD or-"

"Stop stop!" She shouted in embarrassment. _To think that the man she crushed on for so long, barely knew her name but could remember her cup size by heart..._

"Sorry about that, but it is true. You are very attractive Hinata."

"Is that the only reason why you want me to be Sachiko's mother?"

"No. Well, in part. The other part is because if I have you as my wife and Sachiko as my daughter, I can stay in the village again."

"You can't live in the village?"

"It's some stupid rule Kakashi put on me a while back. Basically, until I settle down and raise a family, I have to stay out the village." He explained with a slight grimace.

The heiress only blinked at him. "And you couldn't just explain this the first time because..?"

Sasuke gave her a tired look. "Hinata, it has been a _long_ day."

"Fair enough. So what do we do now?"

"That's up to you."

"Well, you and Sachiko can spend the night here I guess."

"Then what?"

"I- I don't... I don't know! What's strange is that, I'm finding it very tempting to say yes to helping you and your predicament."

He looked surprised. "Seriously?"

"I-I mean- Naruto never really loved me, my little sister's bratty, my father's sexist, and Neji is _no_ _help to me whatsoever_!"She looked as though she was going to have a panic attack, but then she looked up at him. "Kiss me."

Sasuke could not believe what she just said. " _Kiss you_?"

She nodded. " _Right now. Kiss me_ _right now_."

She didn't have to say it anymore. He immediately slammed the door behind him, and crashed his lips with hers making them both fall onto her bed. Sasuke wasted no time with their make out session, his hands were busy exploring her gorgeous body. Although she wriggled and writhed, he knew she was enjoying herself. The fact that she wasn't telling her to stop was proof enough.

"H-Hold on before we continue, you know I'm a virgin right?" She looked up at him.

He looked at her in disbelief. "You're telling me, during the entire time you were _finally_ with Naruto- you two _never_ slept together?"

She pouted and blush. "I was hoping to be traditional..! Saving myself for marriage isn't bad..."

He scoffed. "Naruto is _far_ from traditional, that I know from experience."

"So _you were_ into experimenting." 

"Y-Wh-How do you know about that?"

"Well, you would always reject girls growing up, and the fact that you avoided Sakura as much as possible too. And there were those questionable incid-"

"I. _Am not_. In to men." He stated rather boldly.

Hinata just blinked.

"I was just being curious and trying to figure myself out!"

_She blinked more and crossed her arms in disbelief._

He stared to blush in defeat. "I'm bisexual..." He mumbled.

"There you go." She cupped his cheek. "That wasn't so hard now was it."

"No, but I bet you know what _is_." He smirked.

She blushed. "We're using protection right?"

 _"Fuck me..."_ He cursed to himself. "I don't have a condom... But trust me we won't make babies. I just hope you don't mind if things get a little _messy_. If you catch my drift."

She blushed and nodded. "I _sincerely_ hope you mean only a little mess..."

_One week later..._

"Kakashi-sama, Sasuke and Hinata are here to see you!" Shizune called out.

 _"The hell is Sasuke doing back here?"_ The sixth hokage wondered. "Get in here you smart ass."

" _Hello to you too Kakashi..._ " Sasuke replied with callous sarcasm in his voice. "You remember Hinata don't you?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Hinata, is this _young man_ bothering you?"

"No not at all Kakashi-sama, we actually have some good news to share with you." She smiled.

He looked at her in disbelief. "The _both of you_?"

She blushed as she and Sasuke showed him their engagement rings...

Well it was more of a _SUCK IT!_ Moment for Sasuke, as he gave his former teacher the smuggest of grins.

 _"You cheeky bastard..."_ Kakashi inwardly cursed to himself. "My my, I guess demons can find love when they actually put their minds to it."

Sasuke smirked. "It seems so~ We just wanted to spread the good news to everyone, starting with _my sensei._ "

"Yeah I bet..." Kakashi grunted. "And I can assume you want me to be the one to officiate this wedding of yours, don't you Sasuke." The sarcasm thick in his voice.

" _You were like the dad I never wanted_." Sasuke looked to his teacher with fake puppy dog eyes.

"If you could, we would be grateful Kakashi-sama." Hinata added.

In truth, Kakashi could smack his ex-student upside the head. Yet an agreement was an agreement. Sasuke somehow managed to get himself engaged to Hinata of all people. After their wedding, he will indeed be a member of Konoha once again. "I'll do it for you Hinata, surely you can provide some proper sense to this man's' life." 


	6. What a Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, I'm back and I have a new chapter for you lovely readers. As the title says, Sasuke and Hinata are getting married!

Another bright and beautiful day in Konohagakure! Everything was a lovely shade of green this spring. All seemed right with the world, at least in Sakura's eyes. She was with Ino and Tenten enjoying some tea in a quiet little cafe.

The pinkette gave a small pout. "It's a shame Hinata couldn't be here with us, she's been so busy lately."

Ino nodded while sipping some raspberry iced tea.

"Yeah, but it happens you know?" Tenten added.

"I guess so, having to deal with her clan and all. She's got a lot on her plate."

"So, Sakura! How's _Sarada_?" Ino interjected, hoping to change the subject.

"Oh she's okay! A little weird, but that's how kids are." She giggled. "She says _she's found her dad!_ The poor thing doesn't have a clue."

Ino and Tenten passed each other a concerning look:

Tenten, more or less had the gut feeling to simply tell Sakura the truth. The fact that Sasuke is technically the biological father of Sachiko, but was born in a lab. Sasuke simply left her here, because it would be better than trying to be a single, homeless parent traveling around...

_Ino, was having none of that..._

The brunette caught the message and simply went back to her jasmine tea quietly.

There was also the fact that the two them knew about Hinata's _actual reason_ for being so busy:

Roughly two months ago, after Sasuke came back he and Hinata announced their engagement. It was a complete and utter shock to everyone involved. Even more so, for the fact that they wanted to get married by the end of spring. It was great news-! _For the moment._

However, at their engagement dinner, the Uchiha had but one simple request:

**_Do not. Tell. Sakura._ **

"Oh! Sakura did I tell you? I started dating Neji!" Ino piped up.

The pinkette grinned. "You did! I'm glad you two got together! You know, I was a little worried after you broke up with Sai."

Ino waves her hand. " Nah I'm alright, besides, Neji's actually a sweetheart once you get to know him."

"That's true, and I hear you and Naruto are coming up on your two year anniversary right Tenten?"

Tenten perked up. "Yeah yeah, we are! Time really flies huh?" She gave a nervous chuckle.

Sakura noticed the strange behavior and raised a brow. "Everything okay?"

"Oh I'm fine! Why do ask?"

"Well, you just seem a bit jumpy. You sure you're alright?"

Ino put a hand on Tenten's shoulder. "Oh, she's just a bit rattled after the latest S-rank Kakashi gave us last week." The blonde explained. "Say, I'm gonna take her for a walk, and we'll see you at Hinata's for dinner tonight!"

And with that, the duo hurried out of the cafe and walked down the dirt road.

"Tenten! What the heck happened?!"

"I'm sorry Ino! I got nervous! You know I'm not a fan of hiding things from other people!" Tenten confessed.

"Yeah, but this is a _big deal_. That's why Hinata's gonna break it to her _gently_ over dinner at the estate." The Yamanaka explained.

"Yeah but- you _know_ how she can get..."

"Tenten, they are _Hyuugas_. _What's the worse that can happen_?"

**Later That Evening...**

As mentioned, Sakura, Ino, and Tenten joined Hinata at the Hyuuga estate for dinner. Hanabi and Sachiko were there as well, but they were primarily being nosy. The evening was going relatively smoothly. They ate and chatted for the most part, but the ever present elephant was starting to make its way into the room. Sakura finally saw the engagement ring on Hinata's finger.

"Hinata! You didn't tell me you were engaged, congratulations!" Sakura cheered.

"Aha, thank you Sakura." Hinata smiled a little.

"No wonder you've been so busy! You've been getting ready haven't you? Sooo? When's the big day? Who's the lucky man?"

While Sakura asked her questions, Hanabi only snickered and got comfy in her seat as Ino prepared herself more glasses of sake. Tenten mentally braced herself as Hinata was ready to answer.

"Well, Sakura... My big day is the end of this month." The Hyuuga began. "And as for _who_ my fiancé is- well... It's Sasuke."

There was a brief pause of silence as Sakura blinked a few times.

"What?"

"I said, _Sasuke is my fiancé._ "

"Who?"

" _Sasuke Uchiha._ "

"He's _what_?"

" _My fiancé_."

"This is going to be a long night..." Ino groaned while she started drinking.

" **EXCUSE ME?!** " Sakura roared. " _You're_ marrying Sasuke-kun?!?!?"

Hinata simply nodded. "Yup."

The pinkette only grew more and more enraged by this news. "HOW _DARE_ YOU! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S LIKE! **I'M** HIS TEAMMATE!"

" _Were_ his teammate." Hinata corrected. "And, actually... I know quite a lot about him. We got to know each other after we slept together-"

" **YOU SLEPT WITH SASUKE?!** "

This was actually new news to all the women as Ino spit out her sake, and Tenten choked a bit on her food. Hanabi was in tears laughing.

"Yes." Hinata answered.

Sakura was now pale and on the verge of fainting. "B-But- I- Whhhhhy?" She whined. "What about poor Sala- Sarada?"

The mentioned Sarada raised her hand and adjusted her glasses. "Mr. Uchiha told me I was a test tube baby. And, my name's not Sarada... It's Sachiko."

With all these overwhelming emotions, Sakura fainted at the table.

"Wow..." Tenten was still baffled by all this news.

Hinata shrugged. "You know, that actually went better than I expected. 

**One week later...**

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen." Kakashi greeted. "I'm sure we all know by now why we're here, but in case you didn't- this is a marriage between Hyuuga Hinata and Uchiha Sasuke."

Indeed, it was finally the day everyone was waiting for. _Their wedding_.

It was simple yet elegant. They were getting married by the hokage monuments. Everyone dressed for the occasion and were present for this wonderful moment, even Sakura.

"Right. Let's not waste any more time, and get right to it. Sasuke would you like to say any _touching words_ to Hinata?"

The Uchiha looked to his bride-to-be. "The circumstances are- less than ideal. But, that doesn't change the fact that I love you. And, no matter how bad things get, I'll stand by you as well."

The audience gave a unison soft _"Aw~"_ , which in turn made Sasuke want to vomit internally. Uchihas are not all about that mushy lovey stuff... _Gross_.

"And Hinata, would you like to say anything to Sasuke?"

Hinata looked to her soon to be husband. "I know things have been crazy, but I want you to know that how I feel is honest. I love you, and I will do my best to stand by you. Whatever happens, we'll stick together through it all."

In turn even _more_ of the guest reacted with aws. What a mushy wedding this was turning out to be...

Kakashi smiled a little under his mask. "Well, in that case I guess it's clear that the love is legitimate... So, by the power invested in me and all that. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Sasuke you may now kiss your bride."

Hinata looked to Sasuke and the both of them smiled. They shared a kiss and the audience rejoiced.

_Finally!_

With all the ceremonial and formal stuff out of the way. The new couple were free to mingle, eat, and get drunk with their friends. The adults were having a grand time, Sachiko was probably the only child at their wedding as well. She was the flower girl. In hindsight, she had a family now- _so why complain_?

With the marriage of Sasuke and Hinata officiated, the Uchiha can now live as a resident in Konohagakure. He now has a wife and daughter, and for the very first time in his life- things were looking up for him. Even his team from Taka were there for his big day!

Once all the partying settled the couple retreated to the master bedroom, in the suit they were using in the Land of Tea. Sasuke didn't want to waste any time to get to their honeymoon.

"You seems to be in better spirits Sasuke."

"Given that I married Konoha's sweetheart _and_ got to rub it in Kakashi's face? Yeah it's been a damn good day Hinata." He replied with a rather smug grin while pulling Hinata close. "A _very_ damn good day.~" He purred.

Hinata in turned smiled and nuzzled closer to him. "Hmm~ I guess I'm going to be in for one interesting ride as your wife." 


End file.
